Chav Scum/A>
Chavs, Neds, Townies, Kevs, Charvers, Steeks, Spides, Bazzas, Yarcos, Ratboys, Kappa Slappers, Skangers, Scutters, Janners, Stigs, Scallies, Hood Rats. You thought only America had white trash? UK rises to the challenge.

Turd Twister
Tired of the same old crap day after day? Well, put some PIZZAZZ in your excrement! Now even YOU can be creative! And make some cookies for the holidays.

Lynndie England Fan Page
You know this was going to happen. There's a fine line between comedic genius and insanity. Who says trailer trash can't have heroes? It's Abu Great!

Hats of Meat
Piss off your damn hippie vegetarian friends and look stylin' at the same time!

Monkey FX
Guitar effects explained using monkey analogies. Note: only musicians will get this one. And NO, DJs are NOT musicians!!

Divine Interventions
Been looking for that special gift for your loved one (or even yourself)? Well, look no further! We all know at least one person that deserves a Baby Jesus Buttplug.

My Redneck Neighbor
The title says it all.

Kikkomaso
Someone in Japan (with a LOT of time on their hands) made this flash movie about the mascots of Kikkoman Soy Sauce. Dangerously homo-erotic at some points.

Jesus Sports
Guys! Guys! Ya gots ta see these!! Figures of kids enjoying sports with Jesus!! Football, baseball, hockey, soccer, martial arts, golf, ballet and more! Forget Pokemon - Jesus Sports - gotta have 'em all! I found a new hobby.

Jesus-With You Always
According to the story on the website, this guy just suddenly got inspired to do drawings of people in everyday activities and professions with Jesus alongside them. Which one's your fave? Mine's the one with the juggler. Jesus is so happy by the dude's skills that he's actually clapping his hands in delight. Or maybe it's because the juggler looks like Lurch from the Addams family. Jesus is easily amused.

With You Always
Same thing with a twist. Dude wasn't quite content with the originals, so...

The Britney Forever Network
One of the better conspiracy sites lately, screwjob here believes that there are at least 3 girls masquerading as Britney Spears out there. I guess the inmates at the asylum can have websites now. Hey, I have a few. Actually, I do enjoy watching Britney videos - with the sound off.

Time Travel
The Hyperdimensional Resonator. Sounds like something that Marvin the Martian would use. Now who wouldn't want to travel through time? You can go back and sell all your Enron stock before it went down the crapper. Or you can go back in time and figure out a way to be your own grandpa.

Am I Evil?
This is another one of those variations on that "hot or not" garbage. Give these dorks the attention they so desperately crave if ya wanna. "I'm sad and pathetic, please look at me."

Big Beautiful Goths
Why should those skinny goths have all the dark fun? Plus sizes can be macabre too ya know.

Cute Piggy
If you can make sense of this video, keep it to yourself. I don't wanna know. Warning: unless you have a DSL line, this thing will take forever to download. I'm sure you have better things to do - like wanking.

The Official Ninja Webpage REAL Ultimate Power!!!!
Some people have stupidity, some have insanity. This guy's been blessed with both.

Klingon Warriors!
Feel that you're just not dorky enough? Well, be all you can be and beam your photo to this website. The webmaster will transform you into a redblooded Klingon Warrior! Lots of warriors featured, even nekkid Klingons.

Ginger Brooks - Real Doll
You've probably heard of these. They're called real dolls. The most realistic... ummm... "simulated sex partners" ever made. This guy has one. You've gotta read the page WHY he has one. I feel for the guy. He kinda makes sense.

Dog Doo
Did someone ever piss you off enough that you sent him or her a package of dog doo? Well, if you don't have the guts, or the time to do it yourself, these guys will do it for you.

The Slightly Less Than Official Spork Homepage
If you didn't know, and in case you've been living in a cave for the past 20 years - a spork is a combination spoon and fork. Congratulations guys, you've beat me in the game of "too much time on their hands."

Things That Have Been Sold In Vending Machines
Everything from weed (Amsterdam, where else?) to panties previously worn by schoolgirls (Japan, where else?)

Jesus Christ Superstore
HOLY ACTION FIGURES BATMAN!!! God! (includes Kingdom-Come Kalashnikov AK-47 assault rifle!) Jesus! (includes Ninja-messiah throwing nails!) The Pope! (includes Holy Cross Kali sticks!) Don't worry Buddhists, Jews, Hindus and Muslims - action figures available for every major religion. Hell, I want 'em all!

Beaterz
Chronicling questionable automotive style. Everything from rice rockets to klunkers sporting wooden bumpers are featured.

Cartoon Overanalyzations
You know these guys. The ones that'll debate each other into the ground over who will win in a fight - Superman or the Hulk. Topics discussed include anachronisms, colors, copying, ethnicity, political symbolism, cross-dressing and even Smurf height. Never has the phrase "get a life!" been more applicable.

How to Tell if Your Head's About To Explode
"Doctors are blaming a rare electrical imbalance in the brain for the bizarre death of a chess player whose head literally exploded in the middle of a championship game! No one else was hurt in the fatal explosion but four players and three officials at the Moscow Candidate Masters' Chess Championships were sprayed with blood and brain matter when Nikolai Titov's head suddenly blew apart." I hear that too much Backstreet Boys can also cause this.

Dead People Server
Hey, remember that guy? You, know, that guy that did that thing on that show? Is he dead? Or just his career? Find out for sure here.

Coca Cola Bottles of the World
"I don't really care what you collect, as long as it keeps you out of trouble" - my mom.

Mr. Spock Says
Kirk may have kicked ass, but Spock had the brains and the wisdom. He ain't Herbert. He's "one". Hit your "refresh" button for new Spockisms.

Air Guitar
Admit it, we've all done this. But getting caught by your mom doing it was kinda like getting caught wanking.

Bellybutton Lint
With the energy crisis here in California, maybe this could be a new fuel resource.

Guineapig Television
Another monument to total uselessness. If you really believe that this site is worth spending even one minute on, please send me your name so I can add it to my list of people who deserve a beating.

Ant Cam
Guineapigs too exciting for you? Then how about ants? Yep, watching these guys sure is an improvement over those little mammals. ...still waiting for that bullet...

Squirrel Fishing
Need a new hobby?

Alien Abduction Survey
Take the test and see if you were kidnapped by aliens and didn't even realize it. Is your name "Bubba"? Do you have that uneasy "probed" feeling? Is your ass sore?

Death Clock
Wanna find out when you're gonna bite it? Not happy with the outcome? Then set it to "pessimistic" or "sadistic" for better results.

Lochness Live
Maybe you could be the first to actually spot Nessie on the live camera! Or maybe you could be the first spotted wasting their time actually doing that! This is just a dirty trick by the Scottish Tourist Department to try to get you over to Scotland to eat their vile haggis. Misery loves company.

Porn Prayer Support
Another christians against porn site. Jesus tap dancing christ! If you don't like porn - don't watch it! It's really that simple. Read the form letter though, it's a hoot! Now leave me alone with my 6 boxes of porn.

Jar Jar Torture Engine
Did Jar Jar Binks really annoy the screw out of you? Torture him back 5 different ways!

Hallelujah Acres
Hallelujah! Finally! A truly divine diet that Jesus would approve of! Lose pounds with god's love. Rev. George Malkmus quotes from his book "Why Christians Get Sick". Hey, don't look at me like you don't know why, you unclean, demon-possesed boy-toy of Satan.

Premature Death of Rock Stars
Average Age at Death of Included Rock Stars - 36.9 Years. Average Age at Death of Americans - 75.8 Years. So what's holding Keith Richards up? You get to choose between life or death check boxes at the bottom. Choose wisely my brethren. I'm tellin' ya, Japanese pop is the way to go.

Christian Guide to Small Arms
"KILL FOR GOD, KILL FOR CHRIST! AND YOU'LL GET YOUR SHARE IN PARADISE!" - BGK. PEACE - through greater firepower.

A Real Religious Experience!
Wanna see Jesus? Huh? Do ya? C'mon, it won't hurt.

Americans for Purity
"Winning the War on Masturbation" Hey! Who are they to declare war on my chosen hobby? I may be "immoral", but I've developed a grip that can turn coal into diamonds!

Jesus gifs
Holy animations Batman! Heavenly hilarious gif animations to spice up your website.

Pokemon - a Christian Response
"As naive as it sounds, if the world is totally into it, it's probably bad. This is true in this case. There are too many things involving Eastern religions, Mysticism, and witchcraft in this "cute little game" to say that it's just a game. It's an introduction to a lifelong pursuit of the wrong power. We need to prayerfully consider whether or not we should allow this stumbling block for our little ones to continue. I do not think that Jesus is pleased." Prayerfully!! Man, I don't even have to say anything - this fruitcake did it for me. Pikachu rules ya freak! Oh, and don't forget to click on the "DO NOT CLICK!" button. You know you want to.

Pokemon and a Christian Life
And of course, here's the opposite spin on this subject.

Jesus-is-lord.com
Gotta have at least one good 'ol hellfire spittin' screwjob website, so I present this to you.

Virtual Hell
Take a virtual tour of hell. Hmmm... can't be accurate - there's no sign of any of my ex-girlfriends...

Peter Pan's Home Page!
Peter Pansy is eternally young, even though he's freakin' 47! As a bonus, you can see Peter Pansy all dressed up as "Little Lord Flatulent", "Blue Balls" and of course, "the very lovely Fairy Princess." Excuse me, I have to make an appointment with my therapist now. The horror! THE HORROR!!!

How to Blend In
Wacky Brits Dean and Nigel show you how to blend in with the local characters.

Faking UFOs
Why is it that UFOs mostly visit b_mf_ck USA and kidnap inbred, toothless rednecks and shove every shiny object they can get their six-fingered hands on up the hillbillies' butts? This site shows you how to fake UFOs so you can capture your own hayseed to perform experiments on.

Fish Posters of the World
This guy collects fish posters from around the world. Talk about carving out a niche! See mom? I'm not weird. Well, not a LOT anyway.

Worldwide I Hate Mayonnaise Club
Mayo haters of the world unite! Actually, I can't imagine takoyaki without mayo on it.

Hello Kitty Tetris
The game to end all games. You can have your freakin' Unreal Tournament and your hoity-toity Final Fantasy RPGs. Hello Kitty owns this planet and we just live in it.

Jesus of the Week
This site features a different jesus object every week. Be a hero and send one in.

Camel Wrestling
Two camels go in - ONE COMES OUT! Unlike human wrestling, camels don't fake it.

AllCamels.com
Can't get enough of camels? This is your one-stop camel resource guide. Everything you wanted to know about camels - from where to buy one, to where you can go ummm..."ride" one...

US Supreme Court Bitch-Slap
Frustrated with how the Supreme Court handed the presidency over to Duuuh-bya? Bitch-slap the perpetrators!

Tacky Postcard Archive
We've all gotten at least one tacky postcard. Relive the memories or look at what you've been missing.

Britney Spears' Guide to Semiconductor Physics
What, you thought Britney was just a pair of fake tits?

Alex Chiu
Immortality! Plans for a teleporation machine! Explanations of the universe! Alex's own "New Darwinism". Alex's solution to a unified, peaceful world. And finally - GOD DEFINED!! Bonus - if you can come up with a better immortality device - Alex will owe you 1 million dollars! (Note: Alex said he'll OWE you a million bucks - he never said anything about actually PAYING you!) Magnets... always with the magnets, this guy...

Momo's Parts
"I am Momotaro Hirata. Call me Momo. Everyday I explore my House. If you'd like to meet hamsters, you have to go late in the evening. Because we are a nocturnal animal". It gets better: "Grown-up male hamsters have very very big... "

Sarya - the Vampiress Erotic
Just when you thought you created the temple of lameness, somebody has to go and steal your thunder...

Edible Insects
After viewing this site, those Japanese snacks don't seem so bad after all.

Fun With Grapes
Bored? Got some grapes and a microwave? Create your very own lightshow in your kitchen. Ooooooo! Aaaaahhh!!

Strawberry Pop-Tart Blow-Torches
Really bored? Get some Strawberry Pop-Tarts and an old toaster (and perhaps a fire extinguisher) and let all hell break loose! And since I'm on a roll with the food... hey! "Roll"! "Food"! Get it? Sorry...

The Twinkie Project
Really, really bored? Get some Twinkies (there's probably one under the couch), follow these fun experiments. Again, let me remind you that I'm not making you do these things with grapes, pop-tarts and twinkies, ok?

Mr. Winkle
What the hell is Mr. Winkle?? Alien? Bodshivattha? Cat in a dog suit? Ancient demon? I don't know about you, but this kinda creeps me out for some reason.

Matchstick Rockets
Remember these? Come on, I can't be the only one that nearly burned the house down when I was a kid. I wax nostalgic. Ok, gimme the matches!

Classic Cans of Japan
Pocari Sweat, Calpis, Fuzzy Navel, Post Water, Banana Cola, Get Wet, Beer Blossoms, Beatnic. Ah, such hauntingly beautiful names... for drinks? Those wacky Japanese again. Even Hello Kitty and My Melody have their own drinks. Anybody want a taste of "First Lady"? Or maybe you wanna "Get Nude" instead?

Home Appliance Shooting
YEEEEEEHAAAAW! Git yer rifles and shotguns boys, we's goin' a shootin'! These good 'ol boys show you how to take out a TV or any old piece of machinery that's past it's prime. Just make sure you're done in time to marry your cousin.

Bad Candy
Bad Candy from around the world reviewed. Heed the warnings people, I've eaten most of these hellspawn concoctions. Only 17 entries so far, but I'm sure the list will grow - it's a big world out there and there is no limit to evil.

Gallery of Regrettable Food
While on the subject of things you really shouldn't eat...

Exploding Whale
How do you get rid of a gigantic, rotting, stinking dead whale on the beach? Why, you stuff it with a half a ton of dynamite and you blow it up of course.

Mr. Methane
Strauss must be spinning in his grave like a gyroscope with this rendition of The Blue Danube.

Fast Food Toy Collection
There he goes to spend his dough - he's a dough-nut! God-like collection of fast food premiums from around the world. Mint-in-package of course, but he does have a "loose-toy" page for you heathens that actually open the bags.

The Guys versus the Gals Burping Contest
Load up the bazooka, open fire and take no prisoners. Head-to-head gender gas war.

Fetus Soap
You're not truly clean unless you're Fetus Soap clean.

Bush or Chimp?
The site that compares our new corporate sock-puppet George Dumbass Bush with chimpanzees. Some say this is cruelty to chimps. I have to agree. Chimps are smarter and better looking. Probably smell better too. No, I'm not a democrat either, so shove it, asswipe.

Losers!
Yep, they're all here - dorks, nerds, trekkies, goths, greenies - you name 'em, they got 'em. Get one of your very own. I visit this site to make myself feel better.

Ask the King
Not only is Elvis the King of Rock n' Roll - he's the King of Wisdom too! I mean, if you can't trust the advice of Elvis - who can you trust?

Clone Jesus
I'm not sure if these guys are serious or just plain insane. The plan is to obtain a DNA sample from one of numerous so-called "holy artifacts" from churches around the world, and instill the birth in a virgin woman (volunteer of course), thus bringing about the second coming of christ (timed for December 25, 2001 naturally). And we all know that didn't happen. Oh well, try again in another 1000 years.

Ninja Hypothesis
Now here's something I fully agree on. The theory here is that any movie can be made more interesting with the addition of one or more ninjas. A resounding "YESSSS!!!"

Starwars Surprise
Ok, I know that I've added more christian-related sites on here lately than normal, but I can't ignore this one. Loony-Tunes here claims that if you turn the Baphomet (the satanic emblem) upside down, it looks like Master Yoda! Now, this is just blasphemy! The good side of the force Yoda is. Besides, if turning a cross upside-down is satanic, then logic dictates that turning a satanic symbol upside-down means it's good, right? Christians are nutty funny. But scary at the same time.

Bootleg Toys!
You've seen 'em and you probably even own a few of 'em. Yep, bootleg toys. I'm sure you've gone into a 99 cent store and seen "Sailor Sweetie", "Beauty Girl" or "Planet Girl" (Sailor Moon). Or even better, "Hallo Betty" (Hello Kitty). My fave bootleg toy featured here is Batman and Robin riding a purple Mach 5! ROCK!!!

Neuticles
I'm not gonna say anything, you'll have to check this one out for yourself.

Mate-in-a-State
Based in England, this site encourages you to send in photos of your friends in their least dignified times. Share 'em with the rest of the class will ya?

Happy Drunk
And on a similar track, we have Happy Drunk from the USA. I don't drink, but ya gotta love them drunk chicks.

Demon Buster!
Wow, paranoia and insanity all wrapped up in a tidy bible-thumping package. How to: break and return all curses back to the sender; engage in "spiritual warfare"; cast out your own demons; and become a REAL christian! When people say I'm crazy, I just refer them to this website and they immediately take it all back. Puts it all in perspective.

Date Jesus
Ok ladies, you're all sooooo dang picky, so here's your last chance. You can't possibly go wrong here. If you don't like THIS guy - what can I say? You're riding that handbasket with me. Enter the "Shower with Jesus Contest".

satan.com
Fairness demands equal time. But I must say I'm really dissapointed with this. Waste of a great domain name. Don't bother punching up lucifer.com. Whole buncha nothing there. Antichrist.com is another let-down. Damn so-called artists!

Disturbing Auctions
For your perusal - real items put on auction at ebay. From art (?) to emotionally scarring toys. I actually own one of those wallets made out of a frog.

Fat Chicks in Party Hats
This site is just freakin' hilarious! Bizarre pictures of humanity and captions in bad english. What more do you need?

Mullets Gallore
The site on the worst hairstyle in history. Yeah, you had a mullet at one point, right?

Ugly People.com
Some people call this site cruel, mean and heartless. I call it funny! Hey, don't call me a jerk! I didn't build this site! I wish I did though.

Cartoon Chicks I Wanna Nail
Man, I wish I came up with this site first. The guy's a demented genius! Yeah, like you never had a boner watching those Sailor Moon chicks. Denial...

Kween
Not Queen, but a cheaper, more fuel-efficient Japanese copy.

Mary Kate and Ashley
Believe it or not, this is a serious site on Mary Kate and Ashley. Yeah, a few more years and they'll be legal! Woohoo!!

Bert is Evil
You know, I always thought that Ernie was the evil one, but this site proved me wrong.

Billy Kwan is a happy little Asian.
Waste your time here if you want, it's your life.

Henrik Teigen's Homepage
I can't even describe this page.

Hello Kitty for Adult Male Kittylers
The site for guys who like Hello Kitty and need support and reasurrance that they're not wierd and not alone. Yeah, you know who you are.

Hello Kitty's Tea Party
Is this what it's like to be on acid? Kinda peaceful...look at all the pretty colors...

The Happiest Potties on Earth!
All the restrooms in Disneyland reviewed and rated. Yeah, this is what the internet is all about!

Fat Person's Guide to Disney World
Remember that Disney movie Fantasia? Did you relate to the Ostriches or to the Dancing Hippos? If the latter - then this site's for you! Especially if you've ever been stuck in a turnstile or couldn't fit in one of those damn teacups! And flying solo in the Dumbo Ride just 'cause there wasn't space for anybody else...(this ride normally seats 5!)

The Super Rubber Cats
A free internet comic book based in Canada. So lame that 'free' is way too expensive! 5-10 minutes of your life that you'll NEVER GET BACK!

Roker Toon
Yep, this is Weatherman celebrity Al Roker's web page. He fancies himself to be a cartoonist, and here, he proudly displays his cartoons of limitless unfuniness.

Grateful Dead online comics
Another reason I hate hippies. Crap, I hate hippies! I really, really do!

Under the Pyramid
"India's first site dedicated to cartooning and lampooning." I can't create a site this lame with a gun pointed to my head! If any of these cartoons make any sense to you, or if you find even one of them funny, let me know ok? I'll come to your house and kick your ass!

I Hate Clowns
Do you hate clowns? I hate clowns. This guy hates clowns too. Probably more than you or me.

Dirty Dingus
Monster Trucks and Rodeo Clowns. Classic White Trash, just classic.

Unholy Black Metal Songtitle-O-Matic
Dude! Ever have trouble coming up with song titles for your latest rippin' tributes to the Dark Lord dude? Well dude, this is your site dude! Duuuuuuuude! And people wonder why I defected over to the Japanese pop camp. And while on the subject of heady mental...

The Metal For Jesus Page!
Talk about unclear on the concept. Metal is about Satan you dolts. If you disagree you're just in denial and probably listen to Stryper. This should create a new level of definition for sad and pathetic. I don't know if I should laugh or cry or just end it right now. Be sure to check out the guestbook.

Anton Maiden
This Swedish guy's so into Iron Maiden, he thinks he IS Iron Maiden! And you can listen to him sing along to Iron Maiden songs! And you can buy a CD of it!! Then you can kill yourself to it!!!

The Guys and Dolls Square Dance Club
Do they square dance because they're retarded? Or are they retarded because they square dance? Call me evil, but I hate square dancers, so I'm laughing! They annoy the screw outta me! Hey, if there is a hell, I know that's where I'm heading so you don't have to tell me, ok?

Socks the Cat Fan Club
Ok, before you laugh - is there a fan site dedicated to YOU??? He was the First Cat after all. Socks Maneki Neko figures available if you have nothing better to do with your forty bucks.

Cat Scan
Somebody had to build a site to this pun sooner or later. Like American humans, American cats are fat porkers too.

Psychic Pets
Yeah, where else but in America right? And people wonder why the other countries laugh at us.

If I Ran a TV Station
This is just scary. Christians scare me. Stop scaring me you christians!

Bible Gum
I'm not making this up - gum with bible quotations to keep you little sinners in line. I said it before - stop scaring me you christians!!! Knock it off!!!

The Borg Cube
See? See?! I'm not so bad!

The Batgirl - Bat-trap Homepage
Documenting every bat-trap that Batgirl was ever in. This is Yvonne Craig, not that pretender to the throne, what's-her-face.

Lego Machine Gun
This guy built a machine gun out of Legos that fires Lego bricks at 500 rounds per minute! Why is this not available in stores???

Quaker County My Little Pony Page
When does obsession turn into insanity? Immense My Little Pony collection, Pony family trees, soft-core Pony fan fiction...

Tokyo Toilet
Your guide to the cleanest and of course, dirtiest public toilets in Tokyo. How come he didn't include Ueno Station? You could smell that crap hole from a mile away! A lot of Japanese public toilets are floor level! Yeah! You heard me! More or less a porcelain trench! Squat over that! I like the little scrolling apology on the bottom though - the Japanese are so polite, even when they're being gross. Go to the Japanese edition link - more crap holes there. And check out the Japanese toilet graffiti link.

Japanese Pizza
Ever wonder how those wacky Japanese treat the concept of pizza? I remember actually eating a slice of squid/spagetti/corn pizza at a Tokyo Shakeys.

The First Church of Shatnerology
Of course I'm gonna include this site here! Now off with thee to worship and praise the Toupeed One!

The Second National Church of Shatnerology
Even Star Trek websites have sequels.

Chickenhead
"Leisure experts predict that summer 2000 will see nearly 24,437 family picnics and barbecues cut tragically short by earwig-infested tuna macaroni salad."

Ninja Burger
"Guaranteed delivery in 30 minutes or less, or we commit seppuku"

Jamming a Pair of Scissors Repeatedly Into Your Crotch
Yeah, like nobody else does this. Just don't run around the house with them ok?

The Barbie Collection
Not what you think. Or maybe it is.

The Smart-ass Guide to San Francisco
This is where I live. Welcome to hell.

The Paranoid's Pocket Guide
In September 1996, a London-based insurance company introduced a policy that pays $333,000 if the insured party becomes impregnated by aliens.

The Presleytarian Church of Elvis the Divine
He has a hunka-hunka burning love for whosoever believeth in Him

The First Church of Jesus Christ Elvis
"For unto you is born this day in the city of Memphis, a Presley, which is Elvis the King." You just gotta love the graphics in this one

Evolution is False
A sad, pathetic attempt by christian fundiots to refute evolution. Their fear and paranoia is almost tangible here. But I do like the crude 3rd grade drawings of dinosaurs and cavemen co-existing. Were these the same blockheads that had Santa delivering presents to baby Jesus in the manger?

The Tongue Page
Tongues, tongues and more tongues.

The Dialectizer
Type in a sentence and click on "translate". Try "redneck". Wow, this is amusing for almost 4 four minutes.

Bad Sideburns
The site for all you Elvis Impersonators and Wolverine wannabes.

Orange Peel Flame
Any of you guys ever do this? Pretty cool. For the budding pyromaniac.

Admiral Ackbar for President
Ok, so we get 4 years of "George Dubya Bush is an idiot" jokes. I still say ol' Fishhead would have been a better choice.

Eve Anderson's Pi Page
3.1415926535897... even pi trivia. Nerd fun at it's nerdiest.

David Hasselhoff is the Anti-christ
Yeah, like nobody knew that.

The Boring Homepage
A bit of reality for all you dorks out there with the fancy-schmancy script and the 2 dozen animations just pissing off the rest of us with the 30 minute loading times. You know who you are, you artsy-fartsy, prissy bastards! Sod off!

God's Homepage
If god had a homepage, would it really be this lame? A truly sad attempt at humor.

Jet Jaguar's Homepage
No, not Godzilla's tag team partner. But this guy has the same attitude as me, so he's cool.

The Build Your Own Cow Page
Play wacky genetic scientist. Choose the number of heads, tails, legs and spots on your made-to-order cow.

The Cleanest Page on the Web
Don't get your hopes up, you get what you pay for.

The Most Annoying Page on the Web
Falls short. Waaay short. Where's the rap music? Where's the stupid big shorts? Where's the quasi-rap ebonics used by confused, pretentious white kids? Where are the multiple "I need attention 24 hours a day, please-look-at-me" piercings pics? Where are the retarded dance moves? Where are the "Yeah, I'm a musician - I'm a DJ" statements? Where are the cell phones? Where are the fanny packs? Where's Jar-Jar Binks? Nice try children - you are not Jedi material.

How to Keep an Idiot Busy for Hours
Remember that business card? This is the internet version.

Puppies in my Pocket Page
Pictures of plastic toy puppies. I really don't know what to make of this. Tranquil madness.

74 Years of Band-Aids
Could never find one that was my flesh color though. Haven't seen anything this fascinating since that 1 hour documentary on Post-It Notes.

Rectal Foreign Bodies
Ok, here's the obligatory butt site. I wanted to keep this PG, but nooooo... you sickos just had to keep requesting this stuff.

Scratch and Sniff Theater
More like click and hear the wierd noise theater.

Cosmic Society
Making fun of new agers is just too easy, so I'm not even gonna say anything.

The Phonebashing Gallery
See cell phones grabbed from unsuspecting yuppies then smashed by giant cell phones. This is so gratifying to watch. Heartwarming. Makes me all nice and fuzzy inside.

PX: Direct, Jail Products
All the fun of jail in the comfort of your home.

Titanic Super Slide
Recreate the fun of one of the worst sea disasters in history! Frozen corpsicles or Celine Dionne (almost a corpsicle and a disaster in her own right) not included.

Who Would You Kill?
Vote on who you'd kill on your favourite TV shows. You can also write a short description on how the character would bite it. Too bad you can't pick ALL of the cast of The Dukes of Hazzard. Wait, yeah you can. How come no Bill Cosby shows??? I wanna kill Bill Cosby!! I hate that guy to hell! Why isn't he dead yet?

Engrish
The Japanese have a weird take on the english language. Not featured here, but my favourite engrish was a jacket that said "Boner Hockey."

Poop Pals
Cute little animals dispense yummy candy. Guess where the treats come out of?

How To Get Your Ass Kicked
Ok, getting your ass kicked is pretty easy, but the art here is getting it done so that the other guy goes to jail. Easy to follow step-by-step instructions.

Jesus Dress Up!
Jesus always looked boring up on that cross. Now's your chance to jazz him up! What will it be? Feel like a song and dance? The baby blue top hat and coattails may be just the duds. Underwater adventure? Aqualung and flippers are there for the taking. Or maybe even feeling a little devilish?

Encyclopedia Idollica
Japanese pop idol singers from 1985-1994. Includes a mini website on Sukeban Deka. The guy's so obsessed with this, it's just disturbing. The votes are in and the contest is over - meet the new KING OF THE DORKS!!